Kristi (springdove) wrote in virgins_over_25,

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Intro Post

Hello all! I'm a newbie! I had heard of this community before from reading kruszer's journal, but I never got around to checking it out until today. For now, I complete the "intro post."

1 a) How old are you now?
I'm 25 1/2. Yes, I still count the halfs. :P
1 b) Male or female?
2. (answer the one that applies)
a) If unmarried, are you a virgin?
b) If married, how old were you when you married, and were you a virgin at the time?
c) If not a virgin & not married, have you chosen second virginity? Since when?

Unmarried, still virgin and proud of it!
3. What are/were your reasons for waiting?
Mostly religious (Christian), although I also feel it's more practical on several levels. On the religious side, I believe it's God's will, not because He's trying to keep me from having fun, but because it is best for me, largely because of the practical factors. :) One, no fear of being pregnant without a supportive spouse if I'm not having sex at all. Two, I think that the emotional consequences of sex are WAAAAAY too often downplayed, and I would rather avoid those consequences until I know I'm in a committed and healthy relationship where we can work through them together. Three, no concern about STD's if I'm not having sex at all. Four, less chance of feeling used for my body. I could probably go on, but I'll leave it at those for now.
4. Does your faith play a factor in your decision? Would you wait even if you did not have this faith?
My faith is such a HUGE part of who I am that this is a difficult question to answer. I'm not sure that I necessarily would have chosen to wait until marriage if I didn't believe it as God's will, but I think I'm the kind of person who would have chosen to wait until I was in a committed long-term (1 year+) relationship at the very least.
5a. Are you a complete virgin (never kissed or willfully engaged in any kind of sexual touching etc).
Nope. Kissed and "made out" some. Never really did any touching over or under clothes, though.
5b. Have you actually had the opportunity to go further than you have, had you chosen to do so?
I've only dated one guy in my life who didn't have a similar commitment to wait until marriage to have sex, so I haven't had too many opportunities. I think this one guy would have gladly taken me there, if I'd requested, but, obviously, I didn't.
6. Do you regret any of the physical involvement/lack thereof that you may have had
No. Not at all. I've learned things from the physical involvement I've had, and I never regret choosing to wait until marriage. I sometimes regret not getting married as soon as I'd hoped. ;)
7. What are you waiting for (marriage, true love, a willing partner)?
Marriage and a love based on the choice to love for a lifetime (rather than based on feelings).
8. What do you feel is/was the hardest part of remaining true to your decision to wait? What would make it easier?
I'm kind of an oddball in most circles. I'm actually rather freaked out by the whole sex act about half the time. It seems very frightening to me. The other half of the time, I'm bemoaning the fact that I'm STILL unmarried! It seems scary to me b/c it's so vulnerable...I mean it's letting someone not only see me completely as I am, but also letting him, you know, enter into my body. It's a bit frightening. I believe, though, that in a context of mutual love and respect, the fear and apprehension will be much less. :) I think the hardest part is watching everyone around me get married and move into that different place of being.
9. If you could say one thing to older virgins out there, what would it be?
Don't give up on your ideals. Your wait will have been worth it because when it finally happens, you will know it is right. Don't give up.
10. Tell us something about you (interests, beliefs, favo(u)rites) that will help us get to know you better.
I'm a cat lover. I'm a music lover and play 3 instruments as well as singing. My faith is core to who I am and who I'm becoming. One day, I want to marry someone who has a passion for social justice and ministry to the poor. In the meantime (and thereafter), I'm trying to figure out how to live this thing called life with all that I have and to let go of my bitterness. I look forward to some good discussion. :)
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