Framefolly (framefolly) wrote in virgins_over_25,
Framefolly
framefolly
virgins_over_25

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self introduction

Hi there! I'm new to both lj and this community. Looking forward to giving and finding support!

Per the instructions, hopefully not TMI:

1. I'm a 29 year old woman.

2. I have never married, and am a virgin.

3. I waited in high school and college because
    a. I wanted to wait until I was certain that making love was the right thing to do.
    b. I did not want to risk pregnancy (which is still a possibility even with correct use of birth control) before I felt I was ready to face the consequences (abortion, adoption, or raising my child).
    c. I thought there was plenty of time.
    d. Part of me wanted to "save myself" for marriage.
    e. Part of me found physical intimacy awkward.
    f. Part of me did not feel emotionally safe; I thought that it would be much harder to deal with a breakup if I "crossed that line."
    Reasons a, d, e, and f still apply.

4. I am agnostic, although I respect and participate in the Christian faith through my family. My decision is secular, I think.

5. I am NOT a complete virgin. In fact, sometimes I feel like I'm neither fish nor fowl. I have enjoyed physical intimacy that led to orgasms for both me and my partner -- however, there was never vaginal penetration. There have been many opportunities since I turned 20 for me to go further, but I kept feeling like there were more cons than pros. Meanwhile, I do masturbate -- but I'm still sort of a virgin, right?

6. I don't regret anything I've done -- okay, maybe a kiss or two with some dates that devolved -- and I don't REALLY regret not going further -- or else I would make it happen. But sometimes I wistfully wonder whether things would be "easier" if it were a fait accompli, so to speak...

7. I am waiting for someone with whom I share the mutual passion to spend the rest of our lives together.

8. The hardest part about the decision to wait is wondering whether I am cutting off my nose to spite my face. I mean, if great food isn't available one should still eat, and while sex isn't necessary like food, it's a part of the pleasure of being human, or so say the poets :P . Sometimes holding to a standard is wise, and other times it's just a fear of a perceived "failure." I don't want to be the kind of person who is ruled by fear. If I knew that I am waiting for the right reasons -- if I felt 100%, or even 90% certain the way I did 10 years ago, things would be easier.

9. I tell my older sister, who is also a virgin (although for religious reasons), that I support her choice. Mostly I listen to her, though.

10. Something about me? I vote liberal, because I believe that choice and non-violent conflicts are good things for both societies and individuals, but I live my own life mostly within the lines, and quite happily, too.

Thanks for reading, and happy Friday!
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